Not only did they accept me as if I'd been a family member for years, but they were prepared to defer to my opinions on matters that concerned Cindy. In short they were treating me as they would her husband and it made me begin to seriously contemplate becoming that.I raised the question the next time we were alone, and Cindy cried but shook her head the whole time. "Oh Chris, you know I want you as my husband more than I than I want anything on this Earth. I love you so much I have a hard time keeping Christ first in my life, but I won't get married like this. There's just too much emotional drama."Her hands were puffy and unnaturally cold when she pulled mine to her and caressed them with her cheek. "I want you to be the father of my babies, but that's too important a decision for you to make now, or if it's God's will to let me come home now, for you to make without me. Sandy has promised to think about carrying one of my babies, but I don't want you to volunteer for the daddy. "I was looking forward to a nice ride but hardly ten minutes in and itstarted to rain, it wasn?t just light rain, it bucketed down and I wassaturated. I pulled into a petrol station with a covered roof and satthere watching the weather close and the rain drive in.My day was fucked, there was going to be no ride today. I braved theweather and rode over to my apartment. Thank god I still had thisplace.I showered and sat out on the balcony and looked out over the skyline,there was lightning and thunder as the weather really exploded.I waited all day for the rain to break so I could ride back home andface the music. I was thinking maybe I should just stay here? At leastit was quiet, but no, at some point I was going to have to go back andface up to them.They were both sitting at the table drinking coffee, I walked past themstraight into the kitchen. I loitered around in there before I couldn?thold out any longer. I sucked in a deep breath and walked in. Theylooked back and forth between.
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